Prayer

As nice as it is to not feel like I need to pray every spare moment, a cross I have carried for the past few years, I have realized that I kind of miss prayer. I think it's a very natural thing to want somebody to talk to. We all have quiet moments where we feel the need to thank somebody, and frantic moments when we need to ask for help.

Today, I enjoyed my lunch break outside at a local park. I sat on the empty bleachers overlooking a baseball field where nothing was happening but mowing. It was gorgeous outside and I stretched my bare shins onto the seats in front of me, hoping they would get some end of the summer sun. As I ate my peanut butter and jelly in peace, I wanted to thank somebody for that moment.

Instead of directing my gratefulness toward a certain divinity, I just looked at what I had to be thankful for and sighed with contentment. It may not feel as certain as addressing the Thank-You note to God and IMing it felt, but it doesn't make what I am happy for any less good. I think acknowledging your feelings, whether joyful and wanting to praise or fearful and looking for aid, is a big part of what makes prayer "work"- or what makes us feel better after we pray. Reflecting, meditating, focusing on the positive- haven't self-help books been praising these practices for years?

And I, a certain Christian, scoffed at those words and took comfort in the fact that my prayers weren't just staying inside my mind, but were actually being heard... now, not so sure.