Religion- you just can't escape it!

You know What About Bob, right?  If you don't, open a new browser window, go to amazon.com and buy yourself a copy for 99 cents.  Classic early 90's movie!  Anyway, you know how Bob wants to go on a vacation from his problems?  Well guess what?  I've tried.  They follow you.  You may initially think you've outran them, but they will catch up to you.

I didn't go on a vacation to escape my problems.  I went to California this weekend because a distant cousin (who I hadn't even every met!) was getting married, and when you're given a chance to go to a Malibu beach wedding, you take it!

However, my carefree weekend in LA/ Malibu was not thought free.  From the moment my parents and I got into their car at 7 am Saturday morning to head to the airport, I realized that my unbelief would collide with several of the things that they said over the weekend, but that I needed to just hold all of my doubts inside, at least for a little while longer.  Here are some of the ways that I had encounters with religion on my vacation:

• On the drive to the Kansas City airport, we were running a bit behind.  I just say something like, "They will board half an hour early, so we need to hurry so that we don't miss boarding," and my dad responded by encouraging me to stop worrying and, instead, pray.  "God will take care of us."  But, why would God reward irresponsibility and lack of punctuality like that?  And wouldn't God rewarding us by postponing the flight punish others for their timeliness?  
• Once our plane landed, I turned on my phone and got a text from one of my college friends who is getting married in May.  She wanted to know if I will sing in her wedding!  I agreed to it, then she let me know that it will be a Catholic Mass... she's not sure which songs she wants in her ceremony yet, but now I'm wondering if I'll be singing lyrics that I really don't agree with.  Weird to think about.  Who knows what I'll believe by May? 
• At the Enterprise rental car place, while we were waiting for our request for a car to be processed, my dad gave one of the workers a tract.  Now, my dad's favored tract is The Four Spiritual Laws, but the tract he was handing out was one he had found on the ground of the airport.  He was recycle evangelizing, I suppose.  I've never felt okay with tracts because there is no way that leading someone to a hard to arrive at Truth is as easy as giving them a pamphlet.  I was always more for the relationship and discussion sort of evangelism (though I could never really muster up the strength to go beyond wordly talk and into the realm of real "witnessing" in that way either).  Tracts are just embarrassing.  The person giving the tract probably doesn't know the person the tract is being given to very well, yet this person is engaging that person in a very personal way, over something the giver feels is absolutely vital.  Who knows what the receiver's beliefs are, or if this person is even in the mood to consider something so weighty?  And is there really anyone who actually likes hand-outs and pamphlets?  When walking a busy street, who actually enjoys passing someone handing out coupons or party invites?  You feel compelled to treat them like a human being, acknowledge them, and accept what it is they are handing to you.  But where does that paper usually end up within minutes?  Yes, crumpled up in the bottom of your purse or at the top of a trash can.  Or who enjoys those parcels that arrive in your mailbox every day that contain a message the sender wants you to receive, but are not at all personal?  The credit card letter saying you have been pre-approved, the political ad slandering another politician, the charity hoping you will contribute... they all want your money, your energy, your investment.  Why would anyone see a tract differently?  Wow, that was quite a rant, but really, tracts are ineffective. 
• Once we were in our little hotel room, my dad said "Wow, I know we don't have any, but I would really love an apple."  Mom said, "H___, I told you that I was bringing some!" and my dad said (haha- he's unconventional in this way- he says this all the time, over everything!) "Praise the Lord!"  He wasn't joking, but my mom and I laughed.  It's not like most Christians go around outwardly praising the Lord over every little thing, but I thought the idea of thanking God for things that us humans actually do for ourselves is very common.  Couldn't he just have said, "Thank you, wifey, for thinking of me and my culinary needs?" 
• At dinner the evening before the wedding, out with family, I ended up at the kids' table :)  Kids being anyone 18-25.  I sat across from a cousin I'd never met (I have a big family!), but who knew about me because of letters I had sent out years ago informing family that I was going on mission trips, and then the post-trip follow up letters.  She is a senior in high school, and clearly a good, kind girl with a sincere desire to get out of her comfort zone and shed some love and light on the world.  She asked me about my experiences overseas, how she could go on an independent mission trip, and what sorts of things to expect.  As I carried on with this conversation, realizing that she is a committed Christian, I realized that I had to give her advice on going on these trips the way a Christian would.  Basically, I donned my old beliefs to get through this talk.  I said things like "I would encourage you to think about YWAM.  You'll encounter a different kind of Christianity than you're used to, but it will force you to reevaluate the way you think about God, and how you see the global church."   She talked to me about how she didn't like going to Young Life because the leaders don't really live the way Christians should.  I nodded sympathetically and even found myself saying something like "It's hard when you can't find a group of encouraging people who can build your faith,"  I know- super hypocritical.  But what use would it have been to change the girl's perception of me?  I just played the part, something I've been doing around basically anyone who doesn't know yet.
• Not knowing if I should do a Sign of the Cross during the wedding ceremony (it was done many times by most of the people there, at the end of prayers).  Once, I did it, to try and blend in, but it was a flimsy SOTC, reminding me of bad dancers who just don't move sharply enough.
• During the ceremony, the quirky priest (who had to have been in his 80's) did something I had never seen before.  He took the rings, held them up, and prayed a blessing over them, basically praying magical committal power into them.  He then walked to the front row where the parents and grandparents were standing and asked them to each touch the rings and bless them with him.  It was weird.  Made me think of how superstitious religion can be, or how religion can be altered and made more superstitious than it already is.  When I brought this up later with my parents, kind of saying "What was that?" my Dad (who was raised Catholic) tried to defend it, saying I was being too critical.  I argued back, "Where in the Bible or in any other wedding have you seen blessing inanimate objects encouraged?  Praying a blessing for the couple, yes, but asking for magic to be packed into rings that the couple wears- what??"  He continued to tell me that I should respect the priest's decisions and not question things too much... he has no idea.
• We only had Saturday evening, all of Sunday, and Monday morning in California, so I wanted to make every minute count.  The wedding lasted until about 4.  After that, most of my family was driving back to their homes in Northern California.  I wanted to do something fun in LA!  Before the wedding, I looked online at different options: maybe go wine tasting, see Hollywood, downtown LA?  My dad, who really values rest, had no interest in any of it.  As I was looking into different options, he encouraged me to not try and pack too much into one day.  We mildly argued about it, then he said, "I'll just pray that you make the right decision."  I said, "Thanks, Dad," annoyedly.  He is so religious.  
• Mornings in the hotel- my parents both did devotions and read their Bibles.  I just showered and got ready, and if I did read, it was the newspaper or a book.  They must have noticed that I didn't sit with my Bible and journal the way they were.  I think they must be onto me, but they haven't said anything.  I've decided to tell them in the next few weeks.
•  On the drive back to the airport from our hotel, my parents start discussing one of my cousins who died at the age of 18 in 2002.  It's definitely a family tragedy that shook everyone up considerably in 2002 and continues to be discussed and grieved over today.  The thing about this kid was that he was 18.  He was outgoing and friendly, but was definitely big into the party scene.  He was raised Catholic and his mom (my aunt and god-mother) is a very believing Catholic, but, like so many teenagers, he rebelled.  He just happened to die in a car accident during his rebelling stage.  So, as shameful a thing as it is to do, the question of where this cousin is in eternity is something that was quietly discussed following his death.  He was baptized as a baby and confirmed into the Catholic church, so some say that's enough.  However, my Protestant relatives have said, "But did he ever really accept Jesus into his heart?"  Somehow, my parents got on the topic today.  I turned up my ipod and thought about how strange it is that when your life ends up coming to a halt could, according to the Bible, affect where you end up for all of eternity.  Say this cousin never did really grip the heaviness of Jesus.  He went along with baptism, confirmation, communion, all of that, but never really thought about it hard enough to accept it.  Or, he did think about it, but was never able to claim it as truth.  That would have been natural for a rebellious, authority-questioning teenager, right?  But what if, 10 years down the road, when he was a family man, raising kids and trying to show them how to live ethically, he reevaluated the faith he was raised on and saw the goodness in it?  What if it wasn't until then that he came back to it, this time really claiming it as his belief system?  Well, he never reached that age.  So, if he was that teenager who never did accept Jesus as his savior, whether his relatives want him to be in Heaven or not (not like ANY of us don't!), he's in Hell, forever.  If only he'd have made it 10 more years.  How is that fair?  And why are my parents talking about something that happened 8 years ago?  He is where he is, and maybe that's just in a coffin.

I think that was everything religious that came up in my mini-vacation.  It was probably because I was around my parents so much more than I usually am, and they are very devout.  But it used to seem normal.  Now, all of the Christian jargon, the "Praise the Lord"s, the praying for small things just feels unnecessary and fake.  I'm glad to be in a doubting place, but it does make things uncomfortable.  Still, it was a very, very fun vacation!  I was just more tuned in to these things than I probably usually would have been.